100 days – Day 92

100 days – Day 92

The Commonwealth Games start today in Glasgow.

 

Originally, the opening ceremony for the  Games was going to feature derelict council tower blocks being demolished, before the organisers realised that the competition would last at least twelve years.

 

 

Team Scotland’s Glasgow 2014 parade uniform. Maybe this is why Chris Hoy decided to retire before the games.

 

A Scotsman, an Englishman and a Northern Irishman want to get into the Games but they haven’t got tickets.

The Scotsman picks up a manhole-cover, tucks it under his arm and walks to the gate. “McTavish, Scotland” he says, “Discus”, and in he walks.

The Englishman picks up a length of scaffolding and slings it over his shoulder. “Waddington-Smythe, England,” he says, “Pole vault,” and in he walks.

The Irishman looks around, picks up a roll of barbed wire and tucks it under his arm. “O’Malley, Northern Ireland,” he says, “Fencing.”

 

The Commonwealth Games facilities are awful.If I were a top athlete there’s no way I’d inject myself with steroids in those toilets.

 

 

100 days – Day 76

100 days – Day 76:  Jings! Crivvens! Help ma Boab!

 

The Commonwealth Games – Glasgow 2014:  photos of the uniforms to be worn by the Scottish team for the Opening Ceremony have been unveiled.

Those of you with an aversion to the “Och aye, the noo! Here’s tae us; wha’s like us? Brigadoon” mentality of my fellow countrymen should look away now.  The same for those of a nervous disposition.

 

 

 

 

Sportsmail columnist John Greechan gives his view on the outfits…

 “Oh dear. Oh my. Like someone’s run an old tin of Export through a loom, then covered a swathe of electric blue — more screaming aquamarine, actually — fabric with wee dots. And what about those brown socks? “

 

Be afraid, be very afraid….. vote AYE! in September, and El Presidente Eck will make it compulsory for eveyone to wear this shortbread and haggis outfit!

 

As it happens, today – 7 July – marks the 200th anniversary of Sir Walter Scott’s  novel Waverley .

In common with many others, I point an accusing finger at Scott for the creation of a ‘shortbread tin lid’ perception of Scotland – based on tartan, stags and romantic Highland scenery.

I’m sure that he would have been delighted with the new uniforms that “Team Scotland” will be sporting (sic) at the forthcoming Games in Glasgow.