100 days – Day 57 Glasgow (Weegieland)
There seem to be a lot of jokes circulating just now about Weegieland.
It wouldn’t surprise me if they originate in Glasgow itself – a city renowned for the wonderful humour of its citizens. Having lived there, and been to school there, it’s true that the Glaswegian can be the warmest, funniest, fiendliest person on the planet…….
…… unless it’s at an “Old Firm” game (in abeyance at the moment because of Rangers fall from grace):
Once a neutral went to a Celtic-Rangers game, standing (this was a long time ago) between two rival sets of supporters.
A Bhoys fan turned to him and asked, “Hey Jimmy (in Weegieland, everyone is called “Jimmy” – even women), you supportin’ the Huns?”
He answered in the negative.
“Guid, pal, so yous fur the ‘Tic?”
Again, the guy said that he wasn’t.
A Rangers fan who was standing to the other side of him, bellowed at him, “Then what the **** are ye doin’ here, ya ****in’ atheist?!!”
Perhaps, the current crop of jokes are associated with the fact that the Commonwealth Games will be held in “The Dear Green Place” this summer.
I came across this today:
Meanwhile, the torch relay for the Games is wending its way toward Glesca:
Some jokes that only a Glaswegian would understand:
- A Glasgow woman goes to the dentist and settles down in the chair. “Comfy?” asks the dentist. “Govan,” she replies.
- A Glasgow lad in London is having trouble phoning his sister from a telephone box. So he calls the operator who asks in a plummy voice: “Is there money in the box?”. “Naw, it’s just me,” he replies.
- A Glasgow man takes a pair of shoes back to the shop and complains that there is a lace missing. “No,” argues the assistant, “Look at the label – it says Taiwan”.
- While being interviewed for a job as a bus driver, a Glasgow guy is asked:
“What would you do if you had a rowdy passenger?”
“I’d put him off at the next stop,” he says.
“Good. And what would you do if you couldn’t get the fare?”
“I’d take the first two weeks in August instead,” he replies.
- A Glasgow man, steaming and skint, is walking down Argyle Street, when he spots a guy tinkering with the engine of his car. “Whit’s up Jimmy?” he asks.
“Piston broke,” he replies.
“Aye, same as masel!”
The last word is with the wonderfully talented Stanley Baxter: