100 days – Day 59: Engerlandshire

100 days – Day 59: World Cup, England

Is England the new Scotland?

Do you remember how often – in whatever tournament or qualifying round, we had to await, nail bitingly, the outcome of other results to ensure that we went through?

I remember one glorious World Cup qualifier (in 1985 for the World Cup in Mexico, 1986) , when we had to play Australia who were the winners of the Oceanic Group, to qualify for the  actual competition.

 

The Tartan Army descended en masse Down Under.  One day, with no other sporting activity to entertain them, some of them went to watch a tennis tournament, in which – that day – John McInroe was playing and being his brattish best.

Every complaint by Mac was jeered and mocked by the Scots in the crowd. And when he was eventually beaten, and started to pick up his gear and leave the Court, the Tartan Army burst into song: “Cheerio! Cheerio! Cheerio!”

 

–ooOOoo–

 

An England fan lies on the platform of Sao Paulo’s Pedro II metro station after travelling to Brazil to see his team lose their first two group games to Italy and Uruguay

Anyhow, after last night’s defeat in Brazil by Uruguay – here’s the convoluted scheme of things that might, just might, allow England to stay on:

 

England lose to Uruguay…

… and Italy beat Costa Rica: England stay in the World Cup (but rely on other results in the final round)

England go bottom of the table behind Costa Rica on 3 points and Uruguay on 3 points. Italy head the group with 6 points.

And then what?

England have to beat Costa Rica in the last game, and hope that Italy beat Uruguay.  Goal difference would then separate England, Costa Rica and Uruguay.

… and Italy draw with Costa Rica: ENGLAND EXIT THE WORLD CUP IMMEDIATELY

England move bottom of the group on 0 points behind Costa Rica and Italy on 4 and Uruguay on 3 points.  There is no mathematical possibility of qualification from this position.

And then what?

It’s over. Properly, finally over. The Costa Rica game becomes irrelevant to England fans.

… and Costa Rica beat Italy: ENGLAND EXIT THE WORLD CUP IMMEDIATELY

England move to the bottom of the table on 0 points.  Costa Rica lead the group with 6 points, with Italy and Uruguay both on 3 points. England can reach 3 points by beating Costa Rica, but one of Italy and Uruguay must end up with at least 4.

And then what?

“Cheerio! Cheerio! Cheerio!”