Tag Archive | death

100 days – Day 55: Second Anniversary of the Death of my Beloved Wife, Helen

100 days – Day 55: Second Anniversary of the Death of my Beloved Helen



Kinks – Days Lyrics

Thank you for the days,
Those endless days, those sacred days you gave me.
I’m thinking of the days,
I won’t forget a single day, believe me.I bless the light,
I bless the light that lights on you believe me.
And though you’re gone,
You’re with me every single day, believe me.Days I’ll remember all my life,
Days when you can’t see wrong from right.
You took my life,
But then I knew that very soon you’d leave me,
But it’s all right,
Now I’m not frightened of this world, believe me.I wish today could be tomorrow,
The night is dark,
It just brings sorrow anyway.Thank you for the days,
Those endless days, those sacred days you gave me.
I’m thinking of the days,
I won’t forget a single day, believe me.Days I’ll remember all my life,
Days when you can’t see wrong from right.
You took my life,
But then I knew that very soon you’d leave me,
But it’s all right,
Now I’m not frightened of this world, believe me.

Thank you for the days,
Those endless days, those sacred days you gave me.
I’m thinking of the days,
I won’t forget a single day, believe me.

I bless the light,
I bless the light that shines on you believe me.
And though you’re gone,
You’re with me every single day, believe me.

Days lyrics © Warner/Chappell Music, Inc., ABKCO Music Inc.


A former work-colleague, Karl wrote this on FB: I worked with Helen in Waterstone’s Edinburgh back in the mid nineties. What a wonderful lady, very kind and warm plus the driest wit this side of the Sahara. I look back at my time with the first floor team with great fondness and I recall creasing up with laughter as Helen would oh so subtly put a rude customer in his or her place with a pithy one liner.


So….. this is a day to mourn, but it’s also a time to celebrate this lovely, warm, funny, intelligent lady whose sense of mischief brought a smile to many a face.


Some of Helen’s “pithy” observations:

 When she was going through her first sessions of chemotherapy, following radical surgery, on our way out of the Infirmary, a lovely and sincere Church of Scotland ministerial colleague bumped into us and said “We’re all praying for you”. (which was a marvellous thing to do). My dear wife, who hadn’t met this guy and hadn’t a clue who he was, simply replied, “How nice”


asking a friend how her son had done in his “Higher” exams, the lady replied, “He failed them all”. But added “He has passed his driving test though!”

herself: “How clever. Much more important”


after attending the first service, after we were married, at the church where I was a probationer assistant, the usual”know-it-all” member – in this case a Mrs Swanston – came up to her with that smug look of those who are beholden of the truth – and said “Well, what do you think of our Church of Scotland services?”

Helen who was VERY English and had a staunch Church of England mother replied, “a bit dull”





On the death of the Beloved            ( John O’Donohue )

Though we need to weep your loss,
You dwell in that safe place in our hearts,
Where no storm or night or pain can reach you.

Your love was like the dawn
Brightening over our lives
Awakening beneath the dark
A further adventure of colour.

The sound of your voice
Found for us
A new music
That brightened everything.

Whatever you enfolded in your gaze
Quickened in the joy of its being;
You placed smiles like flowers
On the altar of the heart.
Your mind always sparkled
With wonder at things.

Though your days here were brief,
Your spirit was live, awake, complete.

We look towards each other no longer
From the old distance of our names;
Now you dwell inside the rhythm of breath,
As close to us as we are to ourselves.

Though we cannot see you with outward eyes,
We know our soul’s gaze is upon your face,
Smiling back at us from within everything
To which we bring our best refinement.

Let us not look for you only in memory,
Where we would grow lonely without you.
You would want us to find you in presence,
Beside us when beauty brightens,
When kindness glows
And music echoes eternal tones.

When orchids brighten the earth,
Darkest winter has turned to spring;
May this dark grief flower with hope
In every heart that loves you.

May you continue to inspire us:

To enter each day with a generous heart.
To serve the call of courage and love
Until we see your beautiful face again
In that land where there is no more separation,
Where all tears will be wiped from our mind,
And where we will never lose you again.



100 days – Day 24: The Legacy

100 days – Day 24: The Legacy

Today, time caught up with me:  I’ve come to the conclusion that, at the age of 66 (and a half!), I have to make a Will.  So I’ve contacted my solicitor and we’ll get something drawn up next week.

Some people think that they are going to live forever.  But our life is finite and we don’t know when the Man with the scythe  will come knocking on our door.


But, a Will it will be!

Whether we have a lot of money or possessions or property to leave, or not – we all leave something……..


I saw the new Spiderman film a couple of days ago.

In the movie, at her High School graduation valedictory speech, one of the characters,  Gwen Stacy, the classmate and Peter Parker’s  former girlfriend says:

“It’s easy to feel hopeful on a beautiful day like today, but there will be dark days ahead of us too, and they’ll be days where you feel all alone, and that’s when hope is needed most, no matter how buried it gets, or how lost you feel, you must promise me, that you will hold on to hope. Keep it alive, we have to be greater than what we suffer. My wish for you, is to become hope, people need that, and even if we fail, what better way is there to live. As we look around here today, and all the people who helped make us who we are, I know it feels like we’re saying goodbye, but we will carry a piece of each other, into everything we do next, to remind us of who we are, And who we are meant to be.”

Spider-Man 2




A couple of days ago, a remarkable young man died – and what a legacy of hope and inspiration he has left us.

Stephen Sutton, raised more than £3.2m  for charity after news of his illness spread on social media.

Stephen was diagnosed with terminal cancer aged 15.

Rather than dwell on his misfortune, the teenager drew up a “bucket list” of things he wanted to achieve before he died.

This led to him completing a skydive and playing drums in front of 90,000 people before the Uefa Champions League final at Wembley last May, among various achievements


“In his last few weeks, Stephen Sutton aged only 19,was  unable to process the outpouring of emotion and compassion that he had triggered. He did not want to die, but his thirst for life did not manifest itself in gloomy or depressing ways.

“Cancer sucks, but life is great,” was his motto.

Announcing Stephen’s death, his mother wrote that “her heart is bursting with pride but breaking with pain for my courageous, selfless, inspirational son”, and that the “ongoing support and outpouring of love for Stephen will help greatly at this difficult time, in the same way as it helped Stephen throughout his journey”.

Her pride undoubtedly has much to do with the fact that cancer never defeated Sutton, even though it took his life. He will not just be remembered for his fundraising or his refusal to be defined by his cancer. He inspired people to embrace life, regardless of the obstacles, to be full of compassion, and to look after each other. That is quite a legacy for a 19-year-old boy from Burntwood in Staffordshire”   (the Guardian)


Now, THAT is  a legacy!   What a wonderful young man!



100 days – Day 15


100 days – Day 15: old friends


Today, we say farewell to one of Helen’s dearest friends.  They were at school together.

Helen predeceased Lyn  by just under two years.  She was only 58 and Lyn had just turned 60.

Too young and so sad.

Both were “individuals” in their own way.  Both a wee bit off-the-wall.  Each of them caring and compassionate.

I treasure this message received in December 2012:


Hello Sandy, I was doing Christmas cards today and I came to trying to do yours and they all said things like ‘Merry Christmas’ or ‘Happy Christmas’ and I know it won’t be for you.

Then one of your friends mentioned Helen’s name on Facebook and I have been crying since – I can hardly bear the thought of what you must be going through at this time and I miss her too so much. She was alway there even when we weren’t in touch for months (sometimes years) and I still can hear her voice.

Must be so much worse for you and I wish I could just give you a big hug.

Hope your boys and their families are ok and that you will be with them at Christmas. Sorry that I can’t convey what I am feeling for you but I do think about you lots and lots and obviously about Helen.

There are a couple of the places around here that always make me think about her which makes me glad that she did get down here to visit. She was quite outrageous in the Co-op and kept telling me she could do what she liked because she was the minister’s wife. We laughed SO much.


Somewhere, the two old friends are having a good chin-wag and laughing SO much




The Blog of David Robertson

More Enigma Than Dogma

Relationships, Culture & Current Events

Curriculum of the Spiritual Life

Poems, Prayers, & Proverbs that speak to what it means to be a "living curriculum" of the Christian Life.

Iain Macwhirter

Read Iain in The Herald and Sunday Herald, every Wednesday and Sunday.

Sky Pilot

ramblings of a reformed ecclesiastic


personal reflections on life, the universe & everything

The Immortal Jukebox

A Blog about Music and Popular Culture

100 DAYS

various positions


This WordPress.com site is the bee's knees


Faith Seeking Understanding

Richard W. Strachan's Blog

Writing and reading


A dangerous Mixture politics and religion

In an Irish Home

What Life is Really Like Behind the Hall Door

Guido Fawkes

Parliamentary plots and conspiracy

waverley710, The Ramblings of a Wannabe theologian.

This WordPress.com site is the bee's knees

Jim Palmer

Inner Anarchist

Love's Work

Reflections on living into ministry

It Is What It Is

Dr. Rex .... Blogging for change.


Just another WordPress.com site

You Got to be Kidding's Blog

Humor and musings from all around the Internet

David's Commonplace Book

Random stuff that interests me


"Haud Gaan!" - Scots for 'Keep Pressing Forward!'

Soul Destruction

London call girl book & diary series - exposing the dark world and harsh reality of life as a drug addicted call girl


entertainment without boundaries

Conjectures of a Guilty Bystander

Ad Maiorem Dei Gloriam

Thoughts Of A Near 40 Something

Nothing Exciting But True - May Contain Trains

Toad's Great Adventure

"I will, then, be a toad." -- Stephen Crane

Leaving Fundamentalism

various positions

All Things Rabyd

A blog dedicated to the thoughts, opinions, ideas and random madness of Edward W. Raby, Sr. - Pastor, Theologian, Philosopher, Writer, Bodybuilder and Football Fan. "Yes, the dog is foaming at the mouth. Don't worry, He just had pint of beer and is trying to scare you." This is a Theology Pub so drink your theology responsibly or have a designated driver to get you home as theology can be as intoxicating as alcohol.

Soul Gatherings

Spiritual Moments in the Human Experience

Anglican Memes

a humour site about the Church of England

A Sacred Conspiracy

To conspire... act in harmony toward a common or agreed upon end. God wants to conspire with us [and] this means that God calls us to give our lives to God, to surrender completely, so we may live more fully. Dallas Willard

Lavender and Broken Bones


Christus Pro Nobis

Christ for us


Developing Theological ideas


Qui vicerit, dabo ei sedere mecum in throno meo


More than a feeling ...

Bucket List Publications

Indulge- Travel, Adventure, & New Experiences


Opinions & ideas in NHS Dumfries and Galloway

Chicks In The Mitt

...we have a blog, therefore, we must be interesting...

The China Penguin

waddling from rice fields to ice-fields


A blog of Peter's Study Leave 2012

Journey to a healthy life...

and the maddness on the way there


A great WordPress.com site

%d bloggers like this: